Oddness

How many odd things can you count in this photo?

Final Countdown...

Enjoy...

Caleb

This is my brother Caleb. He's pretty cool.

Official Statment: The "Charlotte Webb" Controversy

I have recently made the decision to not name my daughter "Charlotte Webb". While I have appreciated the outpouring of support from friends, family and other nosy people, I have decided that I just can't do it.

Believe me that this comes as a surprise to no one more than me. I have been pushing for this name since I was 12 years old. Melanie and I have argued about it consistently since we have been together (4 years now). Honestly I think it would be totally fine, I think she would survive and get by just fine. But there is one scenario that I just can't stomach. Let me set it up for you.

1st grade. I send my little girl to grade school for the first time. She is nervous, scarred and trying to fit in with her new classmates. The teacher calls role.
"John Smith"
"Here"
"Amanda Harris"
"Here"
"Jane Goodman"
"Here"
"Charlotte Webb"
The class breaks out laughing hysterically.
"Here" says little Charlotte through tears.
She comes home crushed and an outcast already on the first day. After some prodding from my wife I am forced to tell my little girl why I named her thusly, and then enroll her with a very expensive psychiatrist so she can learn to hate me properly.

Really I am guessing that there is only about a 70% chance that the class will pick up on the reference. But still, I just can't face my little 6 year old going through all of that for no really good reason. I really think every other situation would be fine in the end. She would be a little embarrassed and then just laugh it off, but not this one. So the name is out. I am going to have to do what every other parent does and find other ways to screw up my daughter (Wendy Whitney Webb?).

Charlotte Lily Webb - Born 3-31-2009 11:34 PM

Happy April Fools Day!

AF-S DX NIKKOR 35mm f/1.8G

I really want one of these. Announced today at Nikon.com you can read the announcement here. I have already set aside cash to buy one whenever it is released.

10 Danielisms

1. Calls any man he doesn't know "a guy".
2. Refers to my sleep apnea mask as "dads nose hose".
   
3. Refers to Melanie's tanktops as "bibs".
4. Walks around the house singing the funk classic "Brick House".
   
5. When you ask him for a kiss he will present you with the top of his head for you to kiss him.
6. He will hide in totally dark rooms totally silent, sometimes for several minutes until we find him.
7. He lays his toy cars on their sides and says they are taking a nap.
8. Calls maxi pads "Mommy Diapers" very loudly (this is my fault).
9. Refers to any kid crying as a cry baby.
   
10. His favorite breakfast is a Slimfast shake through a black straw.

These just happen to be my favorites. I am sure that Melanie could make a list of her own.

Mamma Mia: Turns out I wasn't missing anything...

I recently sat on my couch while the movie Mamma Mia played on my TV. I would say that I watched it, but I think that would be a false statement. I was merely in the room while it was on. Under normal circumstances you wouldn't find me in a room or even a house where a movie like Mamma Mia was playing. However, for reasons that are hard to fully explain (see this post), I felt compelled to attempt to watch this one.

Now in the name of fairness, and you can even ask Melanie, I went into this movie with a good attitude. I thought, surely it couldn't be as bad as it had looked on the plane. However by the second song, I began to wonder if I could really make it. By the third song I was squirming and eyeing the door. But I persevered by pulling out my laptop and working on www.swiftscreen.com. As we were losing hope that the movie would ever actually end, Melanie looked up the soundtrack to see how many songs were left. Seemed like there was 40 or so.

I am not going to attempt a review, as this DVD didn't really attempt a movie. All I will say is: What the hell? What was this movie even about? Random songs and dance numbers that had no apparent connection. Bad morals and even worse acting, why the heck is this movie so popular? I know that it appeals to women but why? Do women dream of being stuck on an island trying to figure out the paternity of their children? I guess when you get down to it I just don't understand women.

As a side note I did enjoy seeing Pierce Brosnan attempting to sing and dance. He always looked like he was singing with marbles in his mouth or maybe just in pain.

The real victim here is my wife. For her sake I give "chick flicks" a shot every few months, but honestly this one has set me back a couple years. By the end even she was making fun of it with me. So if you are considering watching the movie, save your self some time and frustration and just go buy Abba Gold. It contains actual talent.

Vintage BigJason.com Video: Bad Boys

This was always one of my favorites. 3 A.M. driving around Cedar City with Tommy about 8 years ago. Not much to do in Cedar, much less that late. Needless to say, Tommy is all the entertainment most people need. Funny thing, this is unedited. Exactly how it came off the tape.

Gutted Finger

Today I had my finger cauterized. I have had a stubborn wart (thanks Nancy Jr.) for about 10 years. My Dr finally decided to stop messing around and just hollowed out my finger. It wasn't very painful, but it left one heck of a crater in my finger. The crazy thing is, it still smells like burned meat. Very Gross. Couple people asked to see pictures. If you are squeamish avoid the second one.

Bandaged

Open Wound

Milk

This evening started just like any other. I came home from work, we ate dinner (Daniel threw his food) and then we all crashed in the living room to watch King of the Hill and relax for a little bit. While we were sitting there, Daniel grabbed his cup of milk to take a drink. After a few swallows, (and for no conceivable reason) he started getting a mouth full of liquid and just opening his mouth so it all just dripped down him. Then while it dripped down his tiny chin he would laugh a totally maniacal laugh and start it over again. Melanie says he was doing this all day and she has no idea how to stop him from doing it, or at least stop herself from laughing at it.

In hopes of capturing this admittedly funny scene, I grabbed my camera and let it fly. Here is a sequence of his drink.

Releasing the milk a little.

Letting it really go.

Checking to see how much trouble he is in.

Laughing hysterically for a few minutes before starting it all over again.

Well what can you do? You either laugh and suck it up, or you can beat the crap out of them and Melanie just won't let me do that...yet!